gratitude ˈɡratɪtjuːd/ noun
The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.
The first of my blogs in an attempt to live a more jovial and positive life is on the topic of gratitude. I have always had an interest in self-development and the law of attraction which includes gratitude as an important factor, but I’ve never seriously acted on these techniques…not for more than a couple of days anyway. Often gratitude is spoken about as being a simple yet highly effective way to increase your happiness and well being, there have been many studies which prove this, go ahead and look around! I decided to read up on the topic and watch videos on the topic and create my own social experiment over a week to see if I feel happier at the end of it. Here’s a list of exercises I’m going to do every day/ over the week,
• Gratitude trigger- I have printed off a quote on the subject of gratitude I like and popped it on my dressing table, when I look at it I have to think of something I’m really grateful for.
• Write a letter to someone who did something/said something you’re grateful for -I have an idea of who I’d like to send a letter to and will include it in the blog.
• Write a letter to someone close to you expressing your gratitude.
• Write down everything that annoys you/you feel unhappy about throughout the day, counteract that thought with something positive.
• Gratitude alarm, set an alarm for a time that suits you and write down what you are grateful for that day- I’ll be setting mine just before I go to bed, I’ll be reviewing my annoyances list at this time and writing down what I was grateful for throughout the day.
• Write a nice comment every day on someone’s social media- So often we see things on Facebook of people writing about something their proud of, sharing a photo of themselves they feel they look pretty in etc and I have scrolled through or just ‘liked’ it, I’m going to make a conscious effort to tell that person they look good or did a great job at something, I know I’d appreciate it if someone did the same to me.
So there we have it, I’ll document every day and also if I’m brave enough vlog everything! I’ll also link a different YouTube video I’ve found helpful every day. Let me know if you guys are thinking of doing this/ or already do gratitude exercises as part of your lives, I’m interested to hear your experiences!
Gratitude Experiment YouTube Video
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Day 1
I didn’t sleep well last night and when my alarm went off I knew I was going to be feeling tired throughout the day, but I remembered what this week was all about and tried to show gratitude to counteract my negative thought. I said to myself, ‘I may not have slept well but I slept better than some, I had a warm, safe house and a comfy bed, this I’m grateful for’ and although I was yawning throughout the day I didn’t dwell or moan again about being tired! By the afternoon I noticed I wasn’t thinking as many negative thoughts or moaning about a lot as I usually would as I was making a conscious effort to be grateful which in return gave me positive thoughts. I listened to various youtube videos of seminars on the topic of gratitude on the way in to work which helped start the day on a good note.
When I got to work It was very stuffy and hot and I noticed people constantly complaining about this, what is it with Brits and moaning about the weather constantly, I probably would have moaned myself if I wasn’t trying to show gratitude! I just turned on a fan we had and accepted it was going to be a muggy day, there really wasn’t anything positive that would come out of me moaning about it! Whilst I logged on to my computer our cleaner came in and we had a really nice chat, she’s a lovely lady and I enjoyed our conversation and felt grateful she liked talking to me, of course I ignored her comment about how hot it was! I was also enjoying the radio as I had ‘kisstory’ on, listening to some throwback songs made me smile. This gratitude thing is easier than I thought!
I planned to go on my gratitude walk that evening and my partner asked if I wanted him to come with me, he had his daughter too so we could stop off at the park. Of course I said yes and we went off, it was nice, even though I was tired it was nice to get some fresh air, I swear I’m a nicer person when I’m tired, much more relaxed and calm about things, or was it this experiment making me that way?
I sat down on the grass hill at the park whilst hubby played with his daughter and was staring at the clovers on the ground, I told his daughter I was looking for a four leaf clover and explained if you find one they give you goodluck! She really wanted to find one!! It started to drizzle with rain so we told her we’d head back home but she was determined! She really wanted to find that clover!! After 5 minutes and some more nagging she shouted ‘I’ve found one’ we didn’t believe her but low and behold she had! So easily! I’ve never managed to find one!! She was very pleased about finding it and wanted to take it to school the next day. It kind of felt like a little life lesson as I watched her so determined to find one, me and hubby kept doubting her, because we were about to get very wet as the rain fell heavier, we kept saying ‘come on lets go home now, it’s very hard to find one’ but she didn’t stop it was like if you want something that badly, you can have it even if things try and get in your way, if your focused you’ll get it!
Overall I had a really positive day, and as my gratitude alarm went off I reviewed all the moans and to be honest there wasn’t many, those that I did have were so meaningless and not worth mentioning… except eating a mouldy piece of toast at work, that wasn’t the nicest, It was smothered in marmite and as I bit into it I noticed a green patch of mould on the corner and immediately felt sick! But I was grateful about it because I could just walk to the cafeteria and grab a nice jacket potato.. Something not everyone can do and also that’s what penicillin is made from right? It can’t be that bad!
Also did I mention the happiest delivery man in the world dropped some paper off at the office, he made me smile, I wish I had seen which company he worked for because boy was he enthusiastic about life!!
I leave you with my gratitude trigger quote.
Discover The Three Keys Of Gratitude To Unlock Your Life You Tube Video
xxx
Day 2
Probably my least positive day overall, but still…. So much to be grateful for! So let’s start with what was good about the day! NO MORNING SICKNESS!! The first 16 weeks of my pregnancy has been hardwork, the constant nausea, extreme sensitivity to smells making me feel ill and spontaneous vomiting, oh and the extreme fatigue!! I don’t remember any of this from my first pregnancy, but I was 18 and maybe my body coped better at that ripe age! I’m getting on a bit now at the grand old age of 26 😉 the smells that have been making me ill are hilarious… fabric softener!! Hubby (he’s not my husband by the way, but that’s what I’ll call him) has had to do all the washing as the smell made me vomit, it lingered around the house too :p how ridiculous! Also hubby had to switch to roll on deodorant because the smell of his spray on him was making me nauseas!! Hilarious! Thankfully I seem to be over that crazy stage and the second trimester is fab! I have all my energy back, I’m coping with the smell of fabric conditioner and even told hubby he could try and buy some spray deodorant again as I think I might be ok! I have bought him many lovely expensive aftershaves over the years and I’ve chosen them because they smell nice obviously and I did not enjoy cuddling up to him when he had one on!! Very strange!!
So I came home from work and there was a letter waiting for me, I knew it wasn’t something good and low and behold it wasn’t!! Now if it was any other day and I received this I would have been really upset, and spent days moping around complaining, crying myself to sleep probably! So although it wasn’t the best news I can totally flip the experience around and be grateful because if I wasn’t trying to be grateful about things this week I wouldn’t have reacted how I did today! Yes it is a setback but it’s not the end of the world and there’s still hope (I’m sorry I can’t say what it is, one day I will) and what would be the point in complaining and being upset… that won’t change what’s written in the letter!!
I’m so surprised that in just 2 days I feel like I’m learning so much, by choosing how you react to something it can greatly change the outcome, it’s only bad news if you make it bad news! Can you try and see the positive in something you originally thought was bad news? I’d love to hear.
Oprah’s Gratitude Journal YouTube Video
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Day 3
Todays a busy day so being in a good mood will greatly affect how It goes! I started at aqua- natal, the ladies there are lovely and it’s good fun too! I used to be an avid gym member, going at least twice/ three times a week. When I was pregnant with my daughter I didn’t go to any classes pregnancy/ baby related. I felt like I wouldn’t fit in with the older mums but I didn’t want to go to the places especially for young mums as I didn’t want to be associated with any Jeremy Kyle chav mums.. how stuck up of me! I’m sure they weren’t like that at all but anyway, a lot of my friends had young families so I had them around me but now I don’t live near them it’s nice to be brave and meet new people. The midwife who runs it is fabulous too!
After this I went to work, which was a good day, especially hearing from my area manager he’d heard I’d done a great job on a project I was working on! That’s always nice, managers don’t do it enough, gratitude and praise can really change your effectiveness to work in a positive way, everybody likes a pat on the back every now and then!
Then I was off to meet a bride to be to do her make up wedding trial! I really enjoyed this, I find it so rewarding making someone feel fabulous, enhancing their natural beauty with make up! We did three looks and the last she liked the best! I liked it too! So excited to do it on the day, it’s going to be a busy one though.. with 7 bridesmaids, especially being 31 weeks pregnant…. Hello swollen ankles, hopefully I won’t knock my bump into anyone!!
I then had a nice drive home as the sun set, I’m loving my new car. I’ve become a grown up and got a big family car, saying goodbye to my fun pink one 😦 it’s so much more practical though and will make things easier when baby comes along!
Hmmm, now negative things… you know what I’m not going to bother!
Louie Schwartzberg TedxSF YouTube Video
xxx
Day 4
Such as sunny day! It makes your mood immediately better, especially us Brits, we’ve had enough gloomy weather, time for some sunshine 🙂 I had to work from home today as I was waiting in for Mr Hot Point man to fit a modification to our tumble dryer as many of them have been setting fire!! We could do without that happening so I was grateful for him for that and now I won’t have to be quite so worried when using it! Althouuuuugh, the suns shining so let’s utilise that for drying clothes today!
On my lunch break I popped next door for a coffee to see my lovely neighbour Vicky. She’s a Younique presenter and an amazing one at that! Her determination and enthusiasm for her job is infectious, if she carries on that attitude she’ll go so far, she has the attributes you hear the motivational speakers talk about, very focused!!
In the afternoon I decided to blitz the house, it feels so nice to have a clean and tidy home. Since finding out the news of a baby making itself comfortable in my uterus I’ve been a bit rubbish and let the house get untidy, I used to clean it properly every Friday, and I quite enjoyed it, it’s nice to be house proud! So now I’m not feeling like a zombie I’ll keep on top of it again! I was also a perfect housewife and had dinner ready for hubby’s arrival :p. I LOVE NANDO’S so one of my favourite dishes was recreating it from home, I made Piri Piri chicken wraps with spicy rice and sweet potatoes fries! Now since the start of pregnancy I totally went off Chicken, which was annoying because most of the dinners I made had chicken in them! So it’s nice to be able to cope with touching chicken, let alone enjoying eating it again! I’ve heard vegetarians say chicken looks so gross and slimy and I finally knew how they felt.. for a few weeks anyway 😉
It was a nice evening and hubby has 2 remote control stunt planes he likes to fly… well his first one ended up 20 ft in a huge oak tree so that kind of knocked his confidence so he wanted to get back out there, I’ve never been with him before so I thought it would be nice to watch. It was a tad too windy so he couldn’t do many stunts but it was quite relaxing watching it glide through the sky, he found it therapeutic too! It’s nice to have a hobby which relaxes you, it’s nice to take interest in your partners hobbies too!
Overall it was a really nice day and was nice to finish off with some apple pie, cream and cuddles on the sofa, oh and my gratitude alarm at 9pm, I spoke about the things I was grateful for in front of hubby, he thinks I’m slightly mad and borderline emotionally unstable (lol) but is really sweet and supportive!
Unfortunately I struggled to get to sleep as my mind was wondering negatively…. Actually for the first time this week though, which is a positive thing, normally it’s every night, I guess that’s the time a lot of us think about things, when you’re not busy and distracted, just quiet and in your own thoughts, I managed to snap out of it though, running through my gratitude list for the day. Do you think about things at night? What do you do to make you mind switch off?
Abraham Hicks- Gratitue YouTube Video
xxx
Day 5
Wow this week’s gone fast! Not so sunny today but it’s dry so it could be worse.. see what I did there 😉 I got into work to see an email from the company I wrote to, to give my praise to a colleague that helped me there the other day. If you’ve been pregnant you know that your boobs balloon to nearly bigger than your head… well mine do! So much so you have to buy a few more bras as the months go on. I had no idea of what size I was and hate bra shopping, clothes shopping.. YES.. over the shoulder boulder holder shopping.. thumbs down! I popped in to M&S and went for a bra fitting a week or so ago, the lady there was lovely and as one of my challenges this week was to be grateful and write to them I thought this was the perfect opportunity. I did it last night and got a reply the morning after, I wasn’t even expecting a response so I’m grateful for that. I hope the message get’s passed on to her and puts a smile on her face! It feels good to show your appreciation.
That evening whilst my daughter was doing her homework and I was writing my blog she asked what I was doing, I explained it was a blog but also we had a lovely chat about the topic I was writing about, she understood and gave me some examples of gratitude, I then asked her what she was grateful for that day and she told me some things, she made me smile. I told her if she was ever struggling to get to sleep at night or if she was worried about something and thinking about it at night, to try running through things in your mind that your grateful for in life. My daughter is 8 years old and it was sweet that she understood, I felt grateful for our conversation.
Try showing your appreciation to someone, and not just by saying thankyou to their face.
xxx
Day 6
A very busy day! But I learnt a lot, I really didn’t manage to practice much gratitude today, trying to entertain the girls and next doors daughter, taking them out to lunch, going swimming, getting ready in record time for hubby’s step dads party and attending it. I defiantly wasn’t as relaxed and positive as I have been throughout the week, although I had so much fun playing with the girls, making them giggle 🙂
I felt really grateful for family and friends today and realised sometimes when you’re having a busy day you just need to stop, take a moment, not let the stresses of the day take over and be grateful, then carry on your day. I didn’t do this until the end of the day, but next time I’m rushing around I’m going to make the effort to do this myself. I also learnt I can have a night out and still have fun without a glass of wine in my hand!! Darn pregnancy struggles! ;p
xxx
Day 7
Well this is it, the last day of my challenge and whilst it took little effort I feel like it’s really made a difference in my life.
Today I wrote a letter to my partner, as I was writing notes, getting an idea of what to say I noticed my mind surging towards negative things, things that annoyed me and upset me in the past. I thought ok, maybe I could start the letter with the negative things but turn those things around into positives, then continue to list all the things I was grateful for.
As I started to scribble negative things on the paper I then reviewed each one, suddenly when they were written in front of me I thought to myself, how is this going to benefit anyone me saying these things? This is not the object of the excercise! But writing these things I’ve he in my head for a while made me rationalise them and realise they’re not big problems and I really do over react.
I decided to rip up my notes and start again, with positives only! It made me feel good writing them down, we can take advantage of our partners and friends so often, it’s nice to actually think about how grateful we are to have them in our lives! This was a powerful excercise for me and I think in future if something annoys me/upsets me I will write it down and review it and most probably see it’s not anything to worry about at all.
I will be continuing to show gratitude because I genuinely feel happier! I have reacted completely differently to situations that otherwise would have annoyed/upset me, I feel like I’m in the honeymoon stage of my relationship again and I like myself a whole lot more, when you’re down you bring those around you down too, I don’t want to be like that, I want to see them happy and grateful that I’m in their lives.
Thankyou for reading,
I’m grateful 😉
xxx
Here’s my vlog ❤
journeytojovial.wordpress.com 